bibliomancy for uranus stationary retrograde...

"We must love each other or die" WH Auden

As above, so below; as within, so without. Sometimes, though, its hard to tell which is the driving force of change - as if there's some logic to the old Chinese belief that fate is divided into three parts, only one of which is in the control of the individual. It could be true, especially if you believe it (which I don't).

Uranus, out there in the cosmos past Saturn, is said to embody the archetype of change; of innovation, aliveness and synchronicity. One astrologer says this planet brings 'mishaps and miracles'. Its more than a Trickster, though, which brings minor mishaps and challenges to the flow of our daily lives and creates the kind of connections which make us laugh in spite of ourselves. Wherever Uranus touches our lives we find ourselves confronted by the truly unconventional - things get turned on their side. Like the discovery of the planet beyond our known solar system that coincided with the rise in technology; the 'industrial revolution' that moved humans en masse like nothing else. Nothing has been the same since. Life just keeps getting faster, smaller, stranger.

There's an argument that Uranus should be called Prometheus - the one who stole the fire of the gods. I'm sure Uranus has something in store for all those who say 'should' about anything. Some call this planet The Awakener - the electric boogooloo of the divine world, the one who'll shake us up, inspire remarkable creations and open our minds to previously unimagined things. He is the Great Science Fiction Writer in the Sky - except that the fiction is becoming reality.

As an outer planet Uranus moves slowly, unseen (to a naked eye looking out from here on earth) and is more about the collective personality than any individual psyche. Or rather, Uranus breaks through our personal ego-barriers to show us how our thinking is all wrong, that our individuality is just an illusion, that we aren't separate at all. Uranus gives us the quantum dimension - a whole other perspective from which to view life the universe and everything.

So as Uranus slows down before entering its retrograde period we can expect some revelations - this is a powerful change in direction - and some events that ask us to think differently. More, to recognise that we are part of a collective; to observe how our thoughts and beliefs shape our part of that collective and ask ourselves if these are working towards something creative and good - and if not, then why.

Because as the guy with the lightbulb has shown us, one person really can make a difference to the whole world.

bibliomancy for the solstice

north star d sinclair '08

"Every person, in the course of his life, must build - starting with the natural territory of his own self - a work, an opus, into which something enters from all the elements of the earth. He makes his own soul throughout his earthly days; and at the same time he collaborates in another work, in another opus, which infinitely transcends, while at the same time it narrowly determines, the perspectives of his individual achievement; the completing of the world."

(Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, The Divine Milieu)

bibliomancy for mercury direct

'groom' d sinclair '08

"After a long rain, we joyously watch the heavens clear.

The sun and moon grow slowly brighter.

The gloomy days are over, so be happy and joyous.

You will bound through the Dragon Door in one leap."


You have found the hidden treasure. Open the spirit world and enjoy its riches.

(The Kuan Yin Oracle, 100 Poems of the Goddess, Karcher: 20)

Sitting here sipping fennel tea, which is said to have 22 separate healing qualities as well as being sacred to our Trickster friend, its a relief to be almost to the end of Mercury's retrograde phase.

Oh OK, it hasn't been too bad. There was costly work to be done on the car - just like last time the god of travellers went AWOL - and two computers went down (I won't bother getting them fixed until we are well out of the danger zone). There was plenty of miscommunication, double-crossed wires, forgotten appointments, late arrivals and more than one person laughed with me about having missed a plane. Over all, though, it has been a good time to go back over some old ground. In one situation where I'd previously had difficulties with billing I discovered money owed to me (it has been delayed in its return, but it must surely be on its way!).

Mercury sure does love to move things around. Today I heard someone say that the planet itself is a big chunk of iron - that would make it the most powerful magnet I've ever heard of.

Yes, I feel the need to renew my sense of equilibrium, to get my polarities lined up.

It occurred to me last night after receiving a comment from a reader here that in spite of what others may expect me to project into the world - a stronger vision, a more realistic representation of my self, or what ever - that the swing between one way of being and another doesn't sit comfortably with me. What I'm saying is that I hope never to be one way or another but to be both.

There are situations in life that require a strong manner of speaking, but that doesn't mean that I am not also scared. Just because I accept the consequences of my past actions doesn't mean that I don't also feel wronged. I'm acutely aware that for every victim a bully is constellated, that heroes call foes into being - every archetypal pattern demands its counterpart be played out. I've found that the way through these mythical forces is simply to walk the path of non-resistance. Acknowledging the gods, if you like. Because they're alive and they will one way or another extract their dues.

Too much energy is wasted in denial - 'I'm not a victim' is something I've told myself over and over again. And so over and over again life has shown me that is exactly what I am. If you've been reading this blog for a while you know that there are things going on here that are challenging me, that sometimes I let these challenges send me plummeting. I go down alright, without fighting. I won't fight anymore.

Resistance just creates more of what isn't wanted.

So with that in mind, in these last moments of Mercury's 'time out', I reckon I'll just go with whatever is. If I'm down, I'll be resting; if I'm strong, I'm using it. And if someone wants to tell me I've failed, I'll listen - and accept that I can only do as I do.

Hm, and I'll have another cup of magical fennel tea. Want one?

he still calls me witch

I've dreamt a lot about walking through shaky, wobbly high buildings, baby in my arms; or of giving birth in odd places – alone, in the bank, out on the street, the supermarket; on the floor in front of everyone. Private parts exposed, infant at risk. Other nights I’m heavily pregnant, struggling with bags of groceries while my nappy-clad daughter runs out onto the road or off into a crowd. I'm helpless, powerless and words are stuck in my throat.

Where’s our protector? I want to shout. There’s something very wrong here – I’m supposed to have help with this. Then I remember why he’s not with us. Time is all skewed, events are muddled – my daughters are at school, the new baby is a year old, life is better, we’re OK. We’ve adjusted.

Waking from these dreams the feeling of vulnerability is hard to shake, so I live with it.

Days move along efficiently; four girls off to school, house tidied, baby and I go through our routine. We go for walks, sit in our favorite café while I write and she charms the regulars. She falls asleep to the sound of the coffee machine and I let myself drift a little.

“You’re so calm!” People say to me, stopping by.

“How do you do it?” they ask

“Its not fair” some complain, impressed by a cool demeanor, smooth hair and slim hips – as if I should be harried, overweight and upset that I have five children and no husband.

‘A defense mechanism’ is my carefully prepared response; ‘If I’m upset, baby’s upset, and I wouldn’t be able to cope’.

A calm mum makes calm babies is how the cliché goes – and so it satisfies most.

As for the rest, I smile and move on rather than say what’s really on my mind – a rant about choices and fairness and staying home eating vegetables, not drinking, not eating out and walking and walking and walking to stay sane. I shake off the resentment I sense, breathe deeply. I hold my gaze steady - stand by my convictions and the direction I've taken my life in.


Women have been doing this since we first looked up at the moon, I tell myself. We’ve been raising children alone – men leave, they go off to do ‘man things’; once they were hunters and warriors and often they didn’t come back. We call these things by different names now, but the nature of the beast hasn’t changed, and why should it?

So we get on with it and look elsewhere for understanding. Well, we hope for understanding. I do.

I know I'm not alone, not really. There are an alarming – and growing - number of children in this developed country being raised without fathers, with part-time fathers, by mothers who are under-valued, over worked and - I suspect - enraged.

One in five children goes through every day looking to a mother who, based on the cultural norm of ‘ the nuclear family’, is doing the job of two people [i]. There’s fear for the future, for the hearts of these children who will grow into men and women, but mostly for mothers who, right now, are also told that raising children isn’t enough, and they must do more. Be more. Be productive and legitimate members of the economic nation, within bounds.

Even women with partners, with legitimizing positions within community, careers, media profiles, and money – who do all of it willingly and joyfully - continue to do the lion’s share of parenting. It seems we had a feminist revolution but the boys, well, the boys are still taking the head off the Medusa and becoming heroes.

Heroes don’t change nappies do they?

And even though we are good brave patriarchal daughters we know that we face an issue that’s more than political – one that cuts to the deepest part of the collective psyche, to our very soul. It’s archetypal. It’s about a human relationship with the Anima Mundi – the essence of the world itself.

But its all too huge, too hard and scary and it feels like everyone else is satisfied with the way things are. Anyone who wants to change this Big Story is fighting against a powerful reality and losing. Its sensible to go with the flow, not to try and swim against the current.

Even so, there are the small things - taking care of what's in front of us, and that's what I do. I want let go of my fear and anger and my idea of the way things 'should be' and change my life bit by bit; strive to give others what I want for myself; become willing to see things differently; allow others to be right; to recognise the good stuff when I see it, when its in my hand.

If I can see that the problem of our relationship with the world - both the world as a concept and the planet Herself - and the worldview of mothers is tied up together, then I need to; it must be a calling. Writing it all down may be the answer to that calling, but mostly all I can do is nurture my own part of the world, my own piece of the Anima Mundi - my own soul, and those of my children.

Will it ever be enough? God only knows.

[i]
Over the last two decades, one-parent families increased substantially as a proportion of all families with children under 15 years. In 1986–1988, one-parent families accounted for 14% of such families on average. The proportion increased to an average of 20% in 1996–1998, reached 23% in 2002–2004 and then fell slightly to 22% in 2004–2006. (source; ABS, 4102.0 Australian Social Trends)

bibliomancy for venus opposite pluto...

'talk is cheap' d sinclair '08

Honey Sweet Words
Beware of words sweet as honey that betray your love and care.
You once treated a thief like your own son.
You would be humiliated and endangered if you fall into that trap again.

(if you can free yourself from this web of sweet poisoned words, this can be a very fertile time)

(from the Kuan Yin Oracle, Karcher;
41)

and for a Neptunian weekend...

"confirmation is always available, if you're looking for it" (Paracelcus)

For some reason I feel as though I should be diarising like a voyager on a doomed mission - a kind of 'ship's log'; day 31, we're running out of food. The work of keeping the engine running is keeping me from going insane but I'm so tired, even in my dreams I lie down and sleep. I don't know how much longer I can go on. If anyone finds this please tell my children I love them, that I tried....

Yeah OK, I'm overdramatising things a bit. Everything's alright. I look around me now and can see plenty to feel happy about. The house is gorgeous and scrubbed clean; a minimalist paradise (all the clutter is boxed up in the garage, which looks anything but minimalist). With the exertions - scrubbing, shifting around and boxing-up - I've toned up somewhat, so I'm feeling simplified physically too. Not to mention the 'make over' cost not a cent, so my financial fitness is increasing, as well as having avoided that 'decorated all in one day' look that so many professionally styled homes have. I've lived my axiom 'I have everything I need' to the highest this week, and proved my own resourcefulness. Yep, its pretty good.

So what if the house is officially 'on the market'? In the meantime we live in it, we're here.

Psyche, of course, has something to say about it all. In contrast to my dreams last weekend, which wanted me to wake up, snap out of it, check out of denial; last night's nocturnal images had me lying down under a table where I'd been preparing a meal with the Rigger, unable to stay awake any longer. 'Morning sickness'; I'm pregnant and need to rest. It occurs to me, in daylight, that its more like mourning sickness that points me to the floor, toward less emphasis on being on top of things. Maybe take a time out... I guess I'll dwell on it a while - things aren't always what they seem.

James Hillman writes that the soul makes intelligent statements to our conscious selves all the time. We only have to pay attention to what's being shown and then resist the urge to substitute images for their literal counterparts. What I've found, apart from that the resistance he suggests is easier said than done, is that if I allow it, the message of a dream, image or event really will be understood.

I've written about this before, anyway, so this is revision.

I don't think I can rest yet - there's a lot to be done. There are things that've been calling me - finishing up my series of articles on parenting with soul, for one. I have more to say about soul mates, about dreams and cledons and divination in general, and I've a book to write. Birds land on my back fence, asking to be part of it all - to be drawn into the scene.

The cosmic climate is strange and brilliant and more than ordinarily tricky, just the way I like it. Expect the unexpected...and dream on...

bibliomancy for a long void of course moon (a post that went missing early in the week!)

'naked babbler' d sinclair '08

"When you dream about something, it is always a match to the thoughts that you have been thinking. And so, since each of your dreams is, in fact, your creation, it is not possible for you to dream about anything that you have not created through your thoughts. The fact that it has now manifested in your dream state means that you have given it a significant amount of thought."

(Abraham Hicks, Ask And It Is Given)

Have you ever had a night where your dreams keep waking you up so you can check that you are in fact still here - where your dreams seem to be yelling at you for some reason?

I had one of those last night. I woke up twice, wondering why I was clutching a rose quartz crystal heart to my chest, and with a strong sense that I'm somehow sending the wrong message to the world. I don't know how the crystal got into my hand, but I do know that lately all the wrong words seem to come from my mouth as well as flying too fast from my mind onto the page.

There's nothing worse than wanting to communicate one thing, but actually saying something else entirely...

celebrating 5000 readers

For the duration of the triple conjunction of the Sun, Venus and Mercury (that is, this weekend) I'm offering a dream analysis to any of my readers who has had a dream in the past week that needs a bit of clarifying.

All readings are private, free of charge, and remain the property of the dreamer.

Simply email me with a short, one paragraph summary of your dream, including the overall feel (that is, how the dream made you feel) of the scene, and I'll email you back my thoughts.

... and Thanks, to all of you who have continued to read each week, who've passed on the link to my blog, who've sent other reader's my way, who've contributed on the comments stream and to those of you who read and move on. I appreciate you all.

love, Dan

venus, the sun and mercury: a tipping point?

I don't usually like to write about astrology in any kind of direct way - not just because I'm not an astrologer (although as part of alchemy studies astrology is covered pretty thoroughly) but also for the reason that I don't like to offer interpretations. Rather, I prefer to point people towards their own ideas of what's going on, symbolically, metaphorically, allegorically.

One of the axioms of alchemy goes something like (forgive me for not quoting the original Latin) 'the macrocosm and the microcosm are the same' or as some would have it 'as above, so below' (you could say 'on earth as it is in heaven'). Basically the cosmos, the planets, the archetypes, the whole universe; all the largest things are the same as the smallest things. Not simply reflections of each other, not copies. The same thing.

I'm not going to go into a complicated discussion of quantum mechanics here but will say that this ancient assertion of the alchemists is something that modern science supports.

OK, I could go way off course here - what I'm trying to get to is that astrology works at a very personal level, at the level of the microcosmic self - that the planets are moving in you and I too.

But looking outward into the sky, recognising that we are part of a living ball of matter and energy moving in an orderly fashion through space that there are other living, moving, balls of energy and matter existing in relation to us - this can give us some perspective on how we live our little lives.

During the most challenging times in life a refreshed perspective can really help. Its as though a part of us that we don't ordinarily tap into recognises the greater scheme of things - and seeing things differently changes things powerfully.

This morning one of my favourite astrologers sent out his weekly newsletter and reminded his readers of an pair of astrological events that rarely happen - the transits of Venus to the Sun. Venus tracks her way through the solar system in a very specific pattern in eight year cycles which form a greater cycle in relation to our Sun.

To the average follower of astrology most of all of this is going on in a way that is partly hypothetical (in that the actual position of the planets and the way western astrology presents their positions don't concur); mostly invisible (conjunctions aren't really about planets 'meeting' - they are occupying the same 'degrees' on a one-dimensional scale but are separated in space by everything else that is real) and possibly confusing. Its the often poetics of astrology, in the absence of understanding the physical energies of the planets, that give it its power.

Still, right now it transpires that not only are Venus and the Sun metaphorically conjoined, we're midway between the two greater and far more potent events - the first of which occurred on June 4, 2004 that some of you may recall. Venus was visible from here on Earth against the backdrop of the sun. The twin of this 'occultation' of the sun by Venus is expected in June 2012 and won't happen again for another one hundred and thirteen years or so.

I don't know what it means, and wouldn't dare speak for what other's may believe about this. But it does say something for itself and the perfection of the Universe, the synchronicity and beauty of life. It seems to demonstrate that even the unseen or unknowable will at some point be revealed - returned. There are some that say that this moment in time is a tipping point. Many stories are circulating about the archetype of transformation, the divine feminine, about women and the way we love. I don't know.

What I do know is that this is all happening in Gemini - the sign of the twins, ruled by Mercury (who is, of course, right there in the midst of it) and bringing to the whole picture the realm of ideas, the mind, thought and choice.

I think its worth looking outwards right now - with a renewed perspective, and with an open mind and heart. Something very special may be revealed to each of us.

We may see something that may not come around again for a while.

a new moon and a conjunction of the sun, venus and mercury in gemini

'but something inside me says it's gonna be fine'
d sinclair '08

(no bibliomancy today, the current cosmic conditions will reveal all, without any help from me)

I was going to write about how the week's activities have shown me how strong I am, about how I've overcome many of my doubts, as a writer, as a woman and mother and as a person. I actually did write a long essay on how great it is to be finally writing my book, about being busy getting my home ready to be sold and getting the car fixed and finally cutting ties with the father of my child. I wrote that through it all I've been fine, I've been stoic and resolute and positive. That I've maintained my composure and calm and kept the faith.

It was all lies, so I deleted it.

The truth is that I'm not at all positive about the house being sold - the children and I believed this was our permanent home, that we'd make it our own. Today when the 'stylist' came to the house and told me that it needed 'such a lift' I felt as saggy and disappointed as I ever have. Apparently I have to change so much about the way it is I might as well just move out and let the experts come in and do the 'make over'. After she left I stood in the kitchen and cried.

It was like letting one of my ex husband's friends in to the house - he's an architect and the sort of people he prefers the company of are likely to critique everything they see. In an objective, arty and intellectual way, of course. Nothing personal. (believe me I just didn't need to be reminded of my ex husband, his friends or the house I left behind to gain this supposed freedom)

I know its silly to get upset, that it's just a service offered by the real estate agent in the interests of getting a better price on the house, and it really isn't personal. Its only personal to me.

A house is an extension of soul, in a way - which is how feng shui can have such an effect - it has an energy which is intimately connected with the energy of its inhabitants. We get a 'feel' for homes and they have 'vibes'. This house has been loved and cared for like everything else in my life - and its beautiful - so to have a stranger come in and tell me how much more work there is to do on it is a blow.

A lesson learned, I guess. Not to be too attached, not to get invested in an egoic idea of home and soul and the care of it.

The same goes for the rest of what's been going on around here. While on one level I've found I can rely on inner resources, there's a current of anger and fear and loneliness which has some power over me still. My chest hurts like a handful of me has been pulled out so I know I'm grieving.

I tend to try and distract myself and to deny what I'm feeling. I tell myself that my inner peace can't be destroyed by outer events, by other's words, or lack thereof or by anything short of an act of god. I want that to be true. On the other hand, I'm so darn tired of having to be brave and strong and manage all of it on my own, I can understand why people turn to religion. There are days when I just want to hand my whole life over to a higher power and relinquish all responsibility for it.

But there's still hope in the here and now, and I'm going to continue to work together with that higher power, taking responsibility for my Self, myself. I'll work with my heart to heal what's hurting, and with my soul to have a home, where ever that may be next. I still have choices.

Choices are worth a lot.

bibliomancy for chiron conjunct the north node of the moon

"we're not together you know" d sinclair '08

"...In the years that I've known Tabra, which add up to a lot, my friend has been sick, disillusioned, poor, and with a thousand problems, but I have seen her despair only once: when her father died. She cried for months over that man she adored and for other losses in the past, and I could not console her. In the period of her financial travails her demeanor never changed. With humour and courage she prepared to travel from the beginning the road she'd traveled in her youth, convinced that if she had done it at twenty she could do it again at fifty..."

(Isabel Allende, The Sum of Our Days)