poetry for a dark moon and goodbye

atropos

you are silver to me

needing heat

for your hardness

and truth

for guilt and shame

(wasn’t silver all i had

and didn’t i long for gold?)

i can’t save you or heal you

only take you deeper

into your troubles so

that which has ailed you

will make you whole

(only then will i

put my hands

my mouth

on all your wounds

and taste your pain)

no if i ever loved you

it was for all your suffering

if i ever wanted your love

it was because of your

beautiful injured heart

(look at you feet pierced through

and arms outstretched -

did you even try another path?)

oh your eyes promise me everything

plead with me for release and cry

tears latent with stars

so that i cannot bear to comfort you

lest i stem their flow

(we both know that behind you

in the shadows there are others

that thief and that wife-killer

you think are forgiven

but reveal all your lead)

don’t tell me you’re dying

i’ll have no choice

but to stand by and watch

as you bleed

wait for the beating and sighing end

and later cover you with my grief

(how could i worship less?

i understand you perfectly

but i will never wipe away

the gift of blood filled with

the seeds of so many flowers)

and you don’t die at all

you are here in the garden

facing me over and again

innocently

as if you had not sent me

into my own anguish

(all my wisdom unreceived

all my waiting

for this

i have nothing left)

is there ever an end to our story

when you keep rising

and i go on causing your fall?

this is where horizon and

heavens meet, always

(yes, you are silver to me

the heat i need

for my indifference

and the truth of

my own guilt and shame)