14 June 2008

and for a Neptunian weekend...

"confirmation is always available, if you're looking for it" (Paracelcus)



For some reason I feel as though I should be diarising like a voyager on a doomed mission - a kind of 'ship's log'; day 31, we're running out of food. The work of keeping the engine running is keeping me from going insane but I'm so tired, even in my dreams I lie down and sleep. I don't know how much longer I can go on. If anyone finds this please tell my children I love them, that I tried....

Yeah OK, I'm overdramatising things a bit. Everything's alright. I look around me now and can see plenty to feel happy about. The house is gorgeous and scrubbed clean; a minimalist paradise (all the clutter is boxed up in the garage, which looks anything but minimalist). With the exertions - scrubbing, shifting around and boxing-up - I've toned up somewhat, so I'm feeling simplified physically too. Not to mention the 'make over' cost not a cent, so my financial fitness is increasing, as well as having avoided that 'decorated all in one day' look that so many professionally styled homes have. I've lived my axiom 'I have everything I need' to the highest this week, and proved my own resourcefulness. Yep, its pretty good.

So what if the house is officially 'on the market'? In the meantime we live in it, we're here.

Psyche, of course, has something to say about it all. In contrast to my dreams last weekend, which wanted me to wake up, snap out of it, check out of denial; last night's nocturnal images had me lying down under a table where I'd been preparing a meal with the Rigger, unable to stay awake any longer. 'Morning sickness'; I'm pregnant and need to rest. It occurs to me, in daylight, that its more like mourning sickness that points me to the floor, toward less emphasis on being on top of things. Maybe take a time out... I guess I'll dwell on it a while - things aren't always what they seem.

James Hillman writes that the soul makes intelligent statements to our conscious selves all the time. We only have to pay attention to what's being shown and then resist the urge to substitute images for their literal counterparts. What I've found, apart from that the resistance he suggests is easier said than done, is that if I allow it, the message of a dream, image or event really will be understood.

I've written about this before, anyway, so this is revision.

I don't think I can rest yet - there's a lot to be done. There are things that've been calling me - finishing up my series of articles on parenting with soul, for one. I have more to say about soul mates, about dreams and cledons and divination in general, and I've a book to write. Birds land on my back fence, asking to be part of it all - to be drawn into the scene.

The cosmic climate is strange and brilliant and more than ordinarily tricky, just the way I like it. Expect the unexpected...and dream on...

3 comments:

  1. The first thing that springs to mind when you write of the your dream and being under the table (the sickness and the pregnancy aside) was where we played as kids ... created cubby houses. It was the place of flights of fancy. My Dad when he purchased our dining room table for us (as we didn't have a table while I was pregnant) he bought one with enough room under it, and with the right dimensions for playing cubby house? I don't know if you had a similar experience as a kid?

    Does the Rigger represent himself or something else?

    I'm back in the blogsphere after a critically busy week (and which included celebrating Dylan's 4th birthday and laying out a magazine again, after I said I was having no more to do with it all!) and grappling with understanding my beliefs around being a mother and a lover, and how to transcend these archetypes and beliefs to create abundance in my life (in terms of all inclusive, rather than pigeonholing and excluding!) ... to remove all the blockages from being a lover again.

    I also love stopping in here to be inspired by your writing and revel in your artwork.

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  2. yay, happy birthday Dylan (and happy four years of motherhood to you Jodi!)

    nah, the Rigger is the Rigger, my night-world image of the Rigger anyway.

    That's what Hillman is getting at when he says not to substitute for images. Interpretation - 'this stands for that' replaces the image with a meaning. A very solar activity... dreams are lunar, so we say we look at them by moon light, or candle light. Allow understanding to rise, rather than shine the bright lights of reason on them.

    does that make sense?

    congrats on the e-book, by the way.. I got my invitation from Annie tonight. Very exciting and I'll be putting a link up here on the blog.

    its great to have you back on the blog :) d x

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  3. It does makes sense ... my take on dreams, is that something that is brewing in the solar world is given shape and image in the lunar world ... it's making the connection between them, rather than substituting or enforcing the solar meaning onto the lunar. Such as the moon reflecting the light of the sun.

    I dream last year that I finally scored a date with Chris Taylor (from The Chaser). On the way out of the room we had been in, there was a table at the door and someone was selling (greeting) cards. I stopped, picked up a card and had a look. Once I'd finished looking at the cards, I went back outside and CT was gone.

    When I woke up I realised it was putting in images the struggle that I have - with being distracted by things that are of little relevance or importance in life .... and consequently missing out on the important stuff.

    Inspired by your dream post, and this discussion, I've put up a dream that I had the other night. Loved the chance to write in a style I'm not accustomed to using normally.

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